I Kept Disobeying God
Without Fear When I
Believed in Eternal Security

I was raised as a Catholic in the Philippines. My religious upbringing was not that strong. As a teenager I was beset with insecurity, fear and lack of confidence. Deep inside me I was longing for peace and searched for it. Reading books was one of the ways I was able to escape these negative feelings I had. I remember having an interest in reincarnation, mysteries and the like. I was fascinated by the unknown. By 1989 I started reading the publications of the Watch Tower Society. At that point I got interested in the Scriptures. Reading the Scriptures was my first taste of Biblical truth. My intellectual curiosity for the Bible continued to grow.

I was enamored then by the teachings of Herbert W. Armstrong and by 1994 I joined their organization in the Philippines. But this didn't stop me from searching for new truths elsewhere. Around this time I discovered the so-called "evangelical" faith. I found it liberating. Finally I was saved. I became a born again Christian. This new belief: Salvation through personal relationship with Jesus accompanied by the assurance of salvation and eternal security gripped me as never before. In the beginning I was free from the bondage of legalism fostered upon me by cultic groups. I was really zealous for my new found faith. I concluded then that God gave me his final revelation about salvation. Little did I know that this new doctrine I was espousing had a tremendous error attached to it which remain undetected from my eyes for years.

All I know is what I noticed in my behavior and thoughts from the time I got saved 7 years ago until recently. Fear of sin diminished, sexual immorality persisted, the fear of God decreased, personal bible study and prayer was gone (except when I got in trouble). I was living a double life and taking it for granted. I kept disobeying God without fear but THOUGHT I WAS SECURE! I didn't know how dangerous this mentality was that I was embracing! But the good thing is I reserved a sensitivity to the Holy Spirit. He kept me wondering about hell, death and God's holiness so many times.

...(I needed some preaching in my life.) One category showed up and caught my interest. It talked about the danger of OSAS (once saved always saved). I knew this subject before, but never pondered it too much. It linked me to the Evangelical Outreach website. I read the case presented and I can say with all honesty that it was incredible! It affected me all the way. The fear of the Lord came through me! I got convicted and repented of my sins (saved again)! Knowing that the believer's security is conditional made me respect and adore the Lord even more! He is to be feared! I know now there is no biblical basis to believe in eternal security. This is it! I now know a conditional security is true! MAY GOD BE PRAISED!

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